Kay Kay

Thanks for your crit. I can see now what you mean by not flowing.

Hey welcome to the site! I'm Kay Kay and feel free to email or PM me anytime.

Hey Valerie! I'm Kay Kay and welcome to this site!!

Hey welcome to YWS!! Feel free to PM or email me about anything.

Hey welcome to YWS!! I hope you have fun here. My email address is if you ever want to email me about anything.

Hey welcome to YWS!! I started learning before I was in kindergarden too. Can't wait to read your stuff!

It was confusing and I think you should add more detail to inform the reader of what exactly happened instead of just leaving it at "Before my brother was dead" ...

The way you kept going of what she was doing line by line it didn't really fit to me. In my opinion, I think maybe you should add more detail ...

I agree with green_river. I really liked the poem. Especially, the part: Let me lead you to the wonders of heaven Let me show you the jewels of joy I ...

I liked it, but there's no punctuation. I could feel the emotion in it as well. Over all except for the errors i think it was good.

I agree: Too many questions. I think you did really good on this poem and I enjoyed reading it. There are a few errors and i think you should capitalize ...

I loved it. I agree with The Black Rose on the repitition, it was good. I would work on making the second stanza rhyme so that it would make the ...

I haven't written anything in a long time so this isn't my best. I'm a little rusty but please crit it your hardest anyways. My life is Like a thousand ...

Hey welcome to YWS!!

You wrote: my love is gone and i feel he was a rat. I feel that this just throws the story of the poem off. You need more punctuation too. ...